PrettyChristy

What an amazing day...

2009-02-02T18:48:00.002-06:00

I ride the emotional roller coaster a lot. My excuse now and for the next few months will be I'm pregnant or I just had a baby. This is what I tend to do and its a nasty habit. Man do I love my pastor and my church. They speak to me in so many ways and I love it!!! I feel like I've grown so much over the years and am really excited for the years to come.

My day started out tired. My house is a mess, the baby is coming regardless, we're looking for a home still and saw the most disgusting one Sunday, and its morning I was hungry and needed to make breakfast for the other hungry bellies in the house. My hubby's tooth has been hurting him so he took the day off and made an apt for later this week but him being home really made my day. He took our youngest "more energetic" daughter with him to run errands and I got a wonderful 2 hour nap. AWWWWWW, I didn't realize how much I needed it until I woke up so refreshed. I cleaned and reorganized the girls room and attempted to put clothes away. It was a start, the clothes were folded already so it was easy to sit them in the rooms they go in. I spent time in that QP for a few minutes and really just laid back and chilled with the family. No it wasn't quite all day, yes I did have to get on to my kids, but in all that there was a peace that we are so taken care of. Even in the face of my current circumstances this family is BLESSED!

House Hunting

2009-01-26T12:59:00.005-06:00

What a year already. Even though my fast was a bit different this time I really feel like I gained a lot from it. I've got a new rudder to keep me in line. The waves of life will no longer sway me, God is my source of joy and I have to remember that. So many times I place my joy (my strength) in other things that are faulty by design. Nothing on this earth was meant to last; therefore, nothing on this earth can give me what God can.

We are officially house hunting. Now, I am a huge fan of those shows titled just that and love to watch as they go from one to the other and finally sit and pick the house they love and then the couple gets all moved in. Oh how I'd love it if it were all so simple and speedy. We've looked at 7 and 3 needed some serious remodeling. Like cracks in the foundation you could see or holes clear through the sheet rock. Nick and I both fell in love with one and then went and saw it this last weekend. We are standing on God's favor right now, and it's funny how the message this weekend was about favor. I've mentioned-- and will continue to mention-- the many blessings we've received these past few months, but they really are snow-balling into bigger and better, extraordinary, out-of-this-world things.

God thank you for your favor, your grace, and love. I'll continue to look to you for guidance and just look forward to the blessings to come and the blessing I'll be to your people.

21 Days - Day 4

2009-01-04T03:45:00.007-06:00

As a church we fast something in the natural for 21 days and anytime the need of that something comes up it you pray for something in the supernatural to move. This will be my 3rd time fasting and the last one was amazing. It doesn't seem that long ago. Its usually the first 21 days of the year but last year I ended up doing mine in April or something. As a result of that my little sister has been coming to Verge ever since and loves it. I'm a youth leader and its really helped stretch what I thought were limitations in my faith.

This year as I approach having our 3rd child there are some things I still need to work on as a parent. That will always be the case I'm sure. I am fasting anger/yelling out of anger. Not that yelling is so constant that I'm doing it all the time but when I do it damages. My children are growing and I'm seeing the results of what that is causing and don't like what I see. My children are so bright, full of energy (maybe too much), and love life and God and I'm sending them a mixed message if I let such small things uproot a feeling of security in their lives.

Since I've started 3 days ago I see in certain areas where an outburst would occur and I sit down in my mind and pray for peace in that moment. There are three things we are praying for specifically this year as a church, 1) Wisdom and Direction, 2) A nations heart to turn to God, and 3) for those who are far away from God to come home to him. More personally what motivates me as a mom is love, it can't be annoyance or irritation, or anger because those things come and go like the wind but Love is strong and solid and shows them how God loves us. Its not been easy, and discipline has been needed of course but I'm learning their disobedience in no way should affect the level of love they feel from me. I'm excited what God is doing in our family and where he is moving us as a church.

My most treasured item...

2008-12-23T07:51:00.003-06:00

What do I treasure the most? My husband, my kids, my friends and family? What do you keep closest to your heart? I'm learning (always with the learning) that its not anyone of those things but the thing I keep them in. My heart. Just like my tongue is the rudder of my words I feel my heart controls pretty much everything. I mentioned before how love is the most coveted covenant, the most important of all. Paul said everything means nothing without love.

For some reason I've gotten the crazy notion that if I wake up in the morning and purpose to have a great day then POOF, it will magically happen and all will be well in my little space I call my world. Whenever I do this something always tests me. Nothing major, just small stupid things that I allow to have significant power to alter my mood and heart. This year I am on a mission to fast, pray, and do everything in my power to seek God always; to be conscious every moment when I stray, to get up after falling (failing) so as not to fail, to work on past relationships, to forgive, to uproot bitterness, to live and follow God with all my heart.

2009 better watch out, with all that is going on in the world me and my home are blessed. This will be a year of house cleaning for me, I no longer want mediocre. I don't want to just get by, everyday has a purpose and its my goal to find it and honor God with it. Every word I speak let it be encouraging and life giving. This year will not be like any before it and will change everything to come :)

I'm reading...

2008-12-22T11:13:00.005-06:00

Nick and I got this book years and years ago. Probably before we were married and I've never read it. Struggling as some parents do to understand how this parenting thing works I've really been on the look out for the specific callings and talents my children posses. I always pray about them and thank God for giving them those specific things but then get flustered if they do not do something the way I would. All the signs are there for both of my girls but I've not been paying attention I guess. Of course this book will shed a lot of light on my marriage as well. I'm excited for what God is doing and will continue to do in our lives.

Mathew 22:36-40
36"...which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[a] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b] 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Frustrations

2008-12-17T18:09:00.007-06:00

I'm sure being pregnant has a lot to do with this post but frustration has been apart of all our lives at some time. There are quite a few things I've found myself getting frustrated at lately and it has hit me why that is.

God has really spoken to my heart on this topic that has made more since to me then ever before. I am a mother of soon to be 3 and have worked with children for over 4 years. I've volunteered/worked at church most of those years and for the past 6 months watch children 6 hours a week. All of that plus with just 2 months to go before the baby is here I find myself a bit overwhelmed and frustrated. Not just with other peoples kids but my own. I will be taking a break soon from both and know that in doing so I'll handle things much better but it was brought up that maybe my season is up.

I do see that I have a gift with kids. People will come up to me after watching me teach and say how amazing something was or comment how I captivated their attention in such a way they could not. Before I wouldn't really think anything of it but when enough people comment on the same thing you know there is something there. I've thought of becoming a teacher, even teaching my own at home and have recently rethought that. Frustrations are things that aren't lining up with God's will. Not to say it will but there is a time and place for everything.

For my situation I'm thinking I may be nearing the end of a season to prepare for a new one. There are so many things going on right now as with most families. Owning our very first home is nearing, the birth or our 3rd baby in less than 3 months, etc. New chapters are opening all over the place and although overwhelming can be just that it can be a bit frustrating if I don't let go of what God is trying to take.

Updates :)

2008-12-15T13:23:00.003-06:00

I love what God is doing in our lives right now and Im learning more and more about the seasons of life. Who could sum it all up better than MyBetterHalf.

uh okay

2008-11-05T22:14:00.003-06:00

There should be a test and if you can't name atlest 2-3 things a candidate is in support your right to vote is taken away.

Just watch this...

okay I'm glad more people were out there voting, we all have the write but not everyone took the responsibility to research their candidates. This is really sad. I think there should be a test and if you fail you are not allowed to vote.

I was going to post the sound clip but I'm not that smart yet :) A guy from the Howard Stern show went to Harlem and asked a few people who they were voting for. He told them about McCain's policies and even aked if it were a good idea that Obama chose Palin as his VP. They all 100% agreed with "McCain's" policies and Palin as VP and voted Obama. How stupid is that? The percentage for first time voters was up, Oprah put her 2cents in, and people believed it. God will prevail I'm really not scared but it speaks volumes about the people who live in this great nation.

I Voted!

2008-11-04T18:19:00.002-06:00

I voted for the first time today. It didn't feel so wonderful at the time, but I definately feel like I contributed this election. Not only did I put my 2cents in but I voted. I've prayed either way God will take care of his people. One side I'll be disapointed but feel we'll all learn from it if he wins, and the other says more of what I believe. I'm excited to find out the news later this evening ;)

"The Price Is Right"

2008-11-03T22:55:00.005-06:00

Can't you just hear the announcer's voice? Picture a curtain pulling back to reveal the greatest prize he has to offer, "A new car!"

Friday a guy from church called and I answered. He told me who he was and that he and his wife had just been blessed with a new car and they wanted to turn and bless someone with their extra one. Our name came up and he was giving us a car. If you don't know Nick and I have one car and its not been so terrible. We've managed and to tell you the truth its really not that hard if you are used to entertaining kids all day and singing songs while waiting sometimes hours for daddy to get off work. You work with what you've got, right.

Wow, ofcourse I cried and was totally shocked but what else should I be feeling? Thank you, wow God is amazing, you have to be kidding me, no one gives us a car, this is a joke right, can't be real. All these thoughts ran through my head and some came out but what an amazing blessing.

Because we were on a much needed vacation we'll actually get the car tomorrow but it is so amazing what God can do. He is working on our behalf and not always when we are aware. I was not expecting that but I had been learning to look ahead to promises rather than past mistakes. I just can't wait to be on the other side of the blessing and give a car, house, fill a need for soneone in need and know I was obeying God.

Been a while...

2008-10-28T01:19:00.002-05:00

I am God's W.I.P. (work in progress). I am learning that more and more frequently it seems. It may be my personality or my upbringing but when I'm faced with my own failures or mess-ups I try to give up. My life has so much more to it than that, and the fact that I am alive says God has something instore for me.

As a mother of 2 and 1 on the way I've been stressed a bit more than normal. What I've learned I am not:

I am not nor do I need to be super woman.
I do not have the energy of ( anyone younger than me)
I can not do everything.

Here are a few things that I am:

I am a child of God.
I am made in his image and together with my husband we are made in his image.
I am an heir with Christ.
I am to stand when there is nothing else I can do.
I am a conqueror.
I am to never give up, (if I want to win).

Thank you father for accepting me as your own. Changing me and taking away bitter roots, they go deep but God ♫you are stronger. Sin is broken and you have saved me♫

Loss in the family

2008-08-08T17:18:00.004-05:00

This past week has been hectic from the beginning. I started my new job at the YMCA. Then thursday I got home with the girls to find out my husbands uncle was in the hospital in OKC from a massive heart attack and was nonresponsive.

DeeDee was like Nick's second mom when he was little. He called her mom and called and his own mom by her actual name. Their home today is our second home away from home and they're like grandparents to our daughters. We sat them down Friday morning to try to explain and like a 4 and 2 year old they didn't really get it. My 4 year old knows what heaven is and that her other gma Holland is there but my 2 year old really has no clue. Unle Andy absolutely adored them and missed them terribly when we couldn't come over for the weekends.

Knowing someone is saved helps in the healing process. There is so much grieving on my end because I see his wife left behind and his son who misses him and I think about Nick and the girls and I. I know God has a will and way for everything. We can make plans but he determines our steps. To me that means I can try to do all the things I want but ultimately God determines where and when I go. At his funeral the pastor said he'd talked to him about God and knew he was lord. That makes me so happy to know he'll be in heaven. He was so quiet I sometimes felt I should bring it up but its go to come from a place where there's relationship built. I told him I loved him the weekend before and he didn't answer but I knew he loved us deeply.

Every one's prayers and generosity are so appreciated. These times really do bring a since of togetherness. Its a small reunion of sorts and there still is laughter in the midst of it all. It also brings in to the forefront those things most important in life. Its not the things you have or don't have. For believers its important to live your life knowing your free!!!

American Housewife

2008-07-15T16:21:00.002-05:00

As a little girl growing up I never wanted to be a housewife, or sahm. I wanted to have a career as a scientist coming up with cures that saved the world and not get married until I was 40 so of course kids would come years after that. Nick and I were the first to get married and have kids among our friends and family.

Fast forward we have 2.5 kids, been married almost 6 years and I'm living my dream staying at home with my kids. Nick and I were discussing housework in the car the other day and I was overwhelmed with the Mess our house had become. With out a plan this dream is more like a nightmare. The first verse I cam upon as I opened my bible in the mist of this "discussion" was seek God in all your understanding. For me to even open my bible when I'm upset is such a growth. I can be the type that likes to sulk in it for a while and let my anger build. That verse put me in check a bit. I closed my bible and opened it again to a verse so right on its a bit scary. I guess godly is the right way to think of it but my bible has become so personal lately. Things are jumping out at me that speak directly to me.

The verse was Proverbs 14:1 I did a double take because I read the house part first and saw her and thought surely I red that wrong. Most times when you read about building it's the men who are building. Then I red it again. The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down I read it again to get what it really was saying and it hit me. I've been foolish. I've been wanting more...house, money, respect but I've been tearing it all down on my own. I don't think God won't give me more because I'm not taking care of what I have currently. I think he is always wanting to do more for me but can only do what I allow. He put laws into place that even he follows. If I'm foolish with my things than I lose them or they break.

Nick and I are so excited for what is to come. We can feel the change in our family. I tend to blame myself a lot of the time but I deep down do believe I've held this family back long enough. God put me here to lift my husband up. To raise my children to be arrows for the kingdom, as a family we are to stand tall and lead others to God and he can take the glory for the things we accomplish here.

Last night I cleaned the kitchen I'd avoided for 2+ weeks, I rearranged the living room and its sort of spotless minus stuff we cleaned out of the car today. Next its the girls room than our room. We are blessed where we are, and will be blessed where we are going. God is the same through out it all.

Christy, Christy...

2008-07-10T16:37:00.009-05:00

Christy
Follower of Christ.

I've always thought "wow that is so cool, because I so am." I only thought I was. It hit me in a bible study maybe a year ago that you can't call yourself a follower of someone and not follow them. A story was told be someone where this man walked across something like the grand canyon on a tight rope (no safety net) pushing another man in a wheelbarrow. Anyone watching this believed what they saw and believed he could do it again and again. The question was "if you believe, get in". I prob messed that all up but the point hit home with me. I believe Jesus died and horrible death for me and the world. I believe he rose on the 3rd day. I also believe he is the son of God, BUT will i get in?

I've seen what God has done in my life. I know he impacts this world daily and those times when I choose to go the other way he is waiting for me to turn around again. Daily I forget, or make a choice not to remember. I battle with unmet expectations. I expect myself to read my bible in the morning but don't make the decision. Luke 10:38-42 describes me to a tee. I am the Martha. If my house isn't clean then I feel like I can't do anything until it is. That one thing hinders everything else, playtime with my kids, quality time with my husband, or even other important things.

Deep down I know God has called me to first be a follower of Christ. There is so much more to this life than simply passing through. Even though Heaven is waiting we are to be abundant and full of life here.

Still working out

2008-07-10T09:02:00.003-05:00

I'm 6 weeks prego tomorrow and I'm still working out. They say you can as long as you were active with the same level of intensity 6 months prior. I've not jogged in a bit so i may not do that but I'm still playing softball. I would've been so bummed to give that up. This baby is going to be great at somersaults. With both my other children I fell near term end. Not just an oops on your butt but flat on my tummy with Tina. So hard I bounced and rolled on my back. Luckily with Jordyn I fell in the pool (I thought I'd float, ya know water buoyancy) I sank to the bottom and fell smack on the tummy again. (as much as I'd like to be that small and pregnant, this is not me pictured;)

@ Home

2008-07-04T10:36:00.003-05:00

I'm so happy to find out my midwife I used with Jordyn is still practicing. We had Tina in a hospital the way we thought you had to and when I was pregnant with Jordyn we started looking for cheaper and even more comfortable ways for labor. I have to say the home birth was tons better than the hospital. I wasn't drugged either time so with two under my belt why am I scared now that we're having a thurd? (I should add I was induced with PITOCIN the devil drug when I'd not 'progressed' enough in the hospital)

Pain is still pain. I know that once the little joy is here (boy or girl) I'll forget the pain. This morning I read John 16:21 when Jesus compared the pain of him leaving to a mother in pain from labor. Once the end result comes it was all worth it.

So...

2008-07-02T23:06:00.006-05:00

I've not officially told everyone the family updates but the ones I did I cried all over them. My father in law got a great incomprehensible explanation as to why I was crying. My Aunt (Nick's aunt) got a teary goodbye, and I just let our 4 year old and myspace tell the rest. Its not that I'm not happy. I hate to sound ungrateful or selfish. God is moving in our lives and wants to do some great big things and I'm over here worried about the small things.

Pastor Arnie spoke tonight about the Holy Spirit. It really changed the way I view some things. Speaking in tongues, I've always loved to hear it but never thought I really could do it. I had read in Acts where Jesus said it was coming in his place and that was new to me to think it was mentioned in that way. I never really gave it much thought later. I started praying over my children before naps and at bedtime a few months now and it really soothes them. My 2 year old says "pray me, pray me" when it's her turn. It gives me a chance to re-center and see them for what they really are. God's children. Yes I had them but in the end I'll be long gone and they will be here making a difference, raising their children, and impacting the world.

As I was praying over my daughters I felt a deep sob come over me. I don't think this was me speaking in tongues. More so I felt the responsibility I have over my little ones lives. Nick and I really have such a vantage point to prepare a way (the way) for our kids. We know how difficult it can be when that way is bumpy and overgrown with obstacles. I know our parents did they best they could with what they had but I'm at a point where my kids deserve the best 'me' possible, not just what I can give them where I am now. I did my part, I lay down all of me and surrender it all to the one I'm following.

(check out Pastor Nick and Tony's Gave Me A Reason) I love this song, it simplifies what I need to say to God, my own personal msg to him.

Family Update

2008-07-02T15:19:00.003-05:00

I've spoken with most of you but I doubt anyone really reads my blog. IDK, Nick and I are expecting our 3rd child. Now if I start bawling when the subject is brought up its not because I'm not excited or happy, I'm hormonal.

There is a certain place I wanted to be before we got to this point and I feel like I'm no where near it. I kept saying I want to loose weight and I want to be in a house before we try again. Apparently we don't have to try. I have been working out and playing sports so I will continue to do some of those things in moderation but I'm not near my goal weight. I'm having a hard time letting that not discourage me.

We started FPU with Dave Ramsey and as amazing as it is it tends to put a damper on my mood. I see where we could have been had we not made some of the stupid yet so common mistakes young people do with money. I don't want to be rich merely for my own gain. I def want to give, a lot. Money is not happiness but it sure eases up the holds this life can put on you. I just have to remember God is our source and has been all along. Just today I've been blessed 2 times by 2 different family members monetarily and they didn't know about the baby. (I tend to think people pity me or something) No its God, if God wants to bless you through others he will. Why is it I look at it that way? Pride. Stinkin' Pride. I'm excited about where God is taking us and this family. I really believe we were called to be here to influence and lead the lost to Jesus and to do it in a way unique to our gifts and dreams. Really that is what I believe for everyone, but it does them no good if they don't believe that for themselves.

Thank you God for being my source and my strength.

two 2day

2008-06-19T08:06:00.002-05:00

My baby girl turns 2 today. I swear she's grown up over night. With both Nick and I working fulltime and me staying home some we weren't able to spend as much time with her developing. Despite all that she has blown us away. The girl counts to 12, she knows her ABCs and all the songs we sing. She'll just bust out singing and it may take us a sec to figure it out but shes got the rythm down.

I started thanking God for her strong will. Its so difficult at times but I know later in life its something that can really benefit her. She is so determined to do and get what she wants. I'm looking forward to more glorious years with her and watching her life unfold.

Just 6 months in...

2008-06-11T00:51:00.007-05:00

I'm so amazed at how much I've allowed God to change and mold me this year. What have I been doing all my life? Running in circles? It's a choice I guess I never sat down and made. Let go and let God.

Seriously, I'm blown away by the number of things that are being put into motion this year alone.
I've joined the choir, this may sound small to most but for me its a dream I've had since I was a little girl. Growing up I didn't always follow God but I've sung my heart out most sincerely when singing to Jesus or about what God has done for me.

I've gotten to stay at home for almost a full year now-- Thank you, God. Bless Nick for working so hard for his family. My next dream is nearing, and that's to have Nick work from home as well.

Another huge goal to me was to build long, lasting, meaningful friendships with others and to deepen my already existing ones. Like most everyone, my family growing up was far from perfect, and the first thing I wanted to do was grow up and get away. Well, now as an adult, I've learned you can't out grow your family. The issues, problems, and situations may never cease but I do have a choice. I choose to surround myself with God-fearing people who want to live their lives not for themselves, but for God and his people, believers or not.

Some relationships I feel like I've reached out, and that is all I can do. I can't imagine how Christ feels all the time when he is reaching to his people, and they not only reject him, but curse his name. I tend to get upset just because someone doesn't call me back or return an interest. I've learned that not everyone wil like or connect with me but that doesn't mean I stop reaching. Some of the best people I know now are ones I thought didn't like me. Push through :)

I started my own jewelry biz that is still under way, but it's way too much fun and has minimal stress.

The biggest thing right now in my life is what I can give to my sister. My sister is 11 years my junior and in most cases like a daughter to me. Growing up with single mom who worked 2 full time jobs, we had each otehr. In a fast I did, I came out realizing I was not helpless in her life-- I still could reach her; I had not failed her. I committed, no matter the cost, to take her to our youth group service and activities. In doing so, I became a youth leader and that in itself is an amazing feat. My sister comes every week, and she's met some of the most awesome kids and enjoys the company of her peers. In being a leader, I get to watch these kids worship God, and see what a heart they have for him. Without caring what others think, they let go and let God. I think I learn more from them than I could ever teach them.

My work is not done, and I'm so excited about what God is doing in my life. For a long time I thought I had nothing to offer, that I was worthless and used. There were too many people out there that saw to it that I was taken care of and provied for in all my activities growing up like sports, orchestra, the army, college, etc. My life is valuable and worth every drop of blood that Jesus paid on the cross. That's how I live my life, and when I forget, I'll read this post again... and again... :)

80 lbs

2008-06-09T16:36:00.004-05:00

Is it realistic to think I can return to my before babies, marriage, college body? If so I have 80 lbs to go. If you watch info-mercials like I do you'd say it can be done. Susie lost 70, and Bob lost 90. I don't want to pay $200 a month to do it, so I've committed to at least work out 3-4 times out side the house a week and do my in-home dvds 2x a week. Hip Hop Abs, walk away the pounds, and turbo jam are my favorites. All of that plus softball over the next few months should really make a difference. We played our first game after rain out and I made up for it subbing for our 2nd Destiny Team that same night. 4 games - 4 losses, 1 car wash - 80+ cars, 3 workouts, 1 sick puppy. I am such a cry baby when I get sick, ask Nick :) I just over exerted myself and had some acid issue again argh :| I took a pepcid way too late and woke up all better just exhausted the next day.

(this post began june. 9th and ended june. 18th)

FRAMILY

2008-06-03T15:48:00.003-05:00

I made up a word, atleast I've not heard anyone say it yet so I take full ownership. My framily is not the family I was born with but the friends I've decided to surround myself with. Just thought I'd calrify :)

Softball is not soft!

2008-05-26T17:44:00.003-05:00

... it's so hard on your body. Our church team practiced over the weekend and I am so sore. It hurts when I cough - OUCH! I hadn't thought of it but I guess I've not played in over 15 years. I was elementary, 4th or 5th grade when I gave it up to play basketball. Like they say, its like riding a bike. It all came back. I played 1st, 2nd, outfield, and pitch back then. I'm playing 2nd now and wow, I was covering 1st when he left to get the ball I was relaying balls from the infield. I made a double play, woo-hoo. Man it was so awesome, not because I excelled or was great, but I'd forgotten how much fun it was and the joy it brings. I am so addicted I can't wait until we play again, which won't happen until the week after next since we drew a bye. :( I absolutely love my church, I'm excited about getting to know them better :)

Struggle

2008-05-15T08:50:00.004-05:00

The number one thing i struggle with still, is consistency. I remember playing sports, mainly basketball, and my coach would get on to me a lot because she saw potential. Later on in my "career" in HS I didn't get yelled at quite as much. Isn't that weird, you want to be yelled at it means you're important or your coach sees value or heart and you're not meeting that potential. It took me a while to piece that together. I was not consistent, I didn't practice as much as I should have, I just thought I could run on my raw talent and gift forever I guess. Isn't that how most of us feel? I have soon found that I can not run on my own understanding anymore. I do not have what it takes to stay consistent.

Everything I thought was going wrong this week has been fixed, set in motion to be fixed, or explained. I didn't feel like I was worrying but once it was all settled, I was big time. One day I can take on the world and my attitude is bring it on, the next I want to find a rock to hide under. Roller coasters were fun when I was young but now they make me nauseous. God is my provider and makes all things work for good if I just believe in him, trust him.
Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Philippians 4:6-9 (MSG)

2008-05-15T08:40:00.003-05:00

6-7 Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

God is speaking into my life everyday and more so now that I'm listening. He is the same today, yesterday, and forever I wish I were that consistent. "Don't worry about anything", to me that means my hair, my appearance, my stinky attitude even. "Pray about everything", take it to God. Let him fix you! God is so awesome!!!

DREAMS

2008-05-12T17:00:00.001-05:00

...are something I used to have as a child. When you get older and start to have to work for what you want (physically) dreams aren't as important. Oh but they are, I remember drawing all the time, making collages that covered all 4 walls in my room. There was such a creative air around me that I could do or make anything. As a child I had the time, now not so much. Now I just have to make the time.

Over the weekend my pastor spoke about dreams, he mentioned in the next few nights some of us would have sleepless nights, our minds just roaming and running wild, but yet our sleep would be full of peace and we'd feel well rested. I had that night last night. Both Nick and I stayed up until 3 just searching for our dreams. I've found something I really want to pursue. I won't unveil it yet but its something that doesn't have to make me tons of money. I just want that joy I had as a kid in creating. Thank you for dreams, my path to my calling.

They chose me...

2008-05-08T15:00:00.011-05:00

I'm too hard on myself. Nick always says if anyone ever talked to me the way I did he'd probably lose it. Same here I'm sure I'd be all over them too. Why then does that seem to be okay to do that to myself? Its not and its wrong, so wrong!!!

I had some other things I was going to say but I've been slapped by the holy spirit. I'm not sure I'm using that right but I like how it sounded hehe. Its that time of the month where my hormones take over and I become a monster for just a day or two. Well today and these past few days its been real hard for me to keep my joy.

After an amazing worship at church I was so blessed tonight not only because I received the most wonderful gift from the family I chose (my church family), but I came to realize they chose me. Wow! I was presented with a shopping spree and a spa visit and I really am just blown away. Mike and Renae and all of the Destiny Staff are so awesome, I love them and look up to them and for them to present me with a gift saying something like I embodied what all mothers at Destiny are, simply mind blowing. When someone says something about you, and you don't really see it yourself its hard to accept it.

I do find it hard still to accept God loved us all so much he gave up his son. Listening to Pam, Renae, Mark, Arnie, and Mike speak these past couple of weeks one thing keeps coming up. God loves me accept it. But, but... I think it was instilled in my for so long that I had to be perfect, learning from your mistakes meant you didn't make them anymore. What a hard realization to come to, no one is perfect but Jesus. He loves me to, the bible tells me so. Its done, Jesus' work is done for me and those who acknowledge him.

I have that tendency to look at my past I want to complain about my daddy leaving when I was two and now trying to figure out how to love a god like a father when you were fatherless, my mom then leaving to work multiple jobs and leaving me to basically raise myself, and various other hurts and pains I've experienced from family. Its hard for me to understand why those things happened to me. I don't like it but the promises out weigh it all if I just press in to them. Death, loss, stolen dreams and innocence, Jesus restored me the moment I asked him to live in my heart.

Thank you Nick for fibbing "in God's name" and my church family, I love you guys!!!

Miracles are happening...

2008-04-10T22:24:00.004-05:00

all around us. There are so many I cannot count all of the miracles I've experienced in my lifetime. My mere 27 years and I've seen God work. What is it in me that wants to see God face-to-face so bad? I just want him to hold me in his arms and feel his love in person.

I got what I asked for. Wednesday morning on my way to bible study our gas gauge shows just above E-empty and I don't even want to go because I think I'll waste gas my husband can use going to work. That’s silly, its time with God and so minimal by the time the day is up it wouldn't matter. No even 1 mile away as I was talking to God I said "I'm going to see a miracle today, because we have no income and our tank is just about dry".
Church rocked by the way (it always does) and I spent time with God and with awesome ladies I look up to, some are friends, and others I've yet to speak with but they are all awesome. Once I get home I found out our electricity was just turned off, and my cell had been disconnected. I literally sank to the floor out of despair, what could I do? I'd just invited some of the moms over for a playdate and we had no power. My God has power and was already working on our behalf. As I called my friends back to let them know our playdate would be canceled one asked how much to get it turned back on. I knew where that was going and was immediately floored again by humbleness and thankfulness. This girl means so much to me, she really hears Gods voice in my eyes and has been so important to the blessings I've received in the past few months. Not only were her and her husband able and willing to help us with the bill they filled our gas tank up as well. Thank you Jesus.
I'm emotional right now even just writing this out because God works so beautifully. Shame on me for trying to make things go my way. I want his way, he truly knows best and thank God for others that follow his as well. I saw a miracle right when I asked for one and it’s not the universe, or speaking into the air I was talking to God and he answered.

Some may say, gas is so minimal or getting a good parking spot at a busy mall is so minute. God cares about us and we care about the small so he in turn does as well. This year has just begun and he has turned me upside down and moved me in such a great direction I can't wait to see what is next.
Lord thank you for your goodness, you are healing, you are my savior. I just place my life in your hands God. Have me do what you will to further your kingdom and reach your people. Use me as that hand to touches the lost and comforts the broken. Those hands have surely reached me and I am so grateful.
Amen

Easter Videos - Destiny Chrurch

2008-03-26T17:08:00.003-05:00

I'm so happy these were made available so fast

Amazing Grace (my chains are gone)

Lifehouse Drama

At the Cross

Future Decided

Easter Weekend

2008-03-24T17:54:00.007-05:00

I guess I consider myself still a baby in my faith and feel I'm still learning so much but I'm sure that is what everyone may encounter. I had the best weekend I think I've ever had. We were so busy it was quite ridiculous. I joined our church choir back in Jan. and am so happy I went for it. Our worship team is so creative and talented and its been a dream of mine for so long since probably I was 5, well 22 years later I'm singing to God and can't believe what an awesome privilege it is to lead others into worship. I'd never thought of it in that way before. We had 4 Easter services over the weekend. My mom and sister came and it was just too cool to see them both out in the awesome. I am the one, I truly feel, who can reach them both. It'll be so exciting to just sit back and watch God work!

My pastor mentioned since we were giving ourselves in something so big for God attacks will come. It was the exact next day and my oldest Tina woke up with a yucky throat irritation. The days that followed our youngest Jordyn had drainage and Nick was under a bit. I've had an itchy throat but I'm blessed that is stopped at that. I'm just now getting in the routine of praying to and asking from God. When we're sick and in pain I pray for healing, when we are perfectly healthy I've been worshiping and praising how great my heavenly father is. I'm so blessed with the family I've been given, the extended family on both sides, and our chosen family the friends we hold the closest. God I thank you for that family and relationship growth we will experience this year. He is always doing great things.

Cleaning out Clutter

2008-03-10T15:07:00.005-05:00

I've heard that a cluttered house makes you fat. Why is that? For a few weeks now I've been cleaning out the clutter and I do feel tons better. When my husband, two kids, and I leave for a family outing I know when we come home we'll be welcomed by a clutter free living room, my kitchen won't be piled high with dishes and everything is in its place.

I think that was what was so hard for me. We have too much STUFF. For all the things that we've acquired over our entire lives there is no possible way it can all have its own place. My husband and I are two of a kind when it comes to keeping things. As an only child I latched on to everything and didn't want to let the smallest of things go. I used to go clothes shopping with my mom and would sit in the mirrors at the department stores and collect all the little pins and things that fell from the clothes. I'd play in the mirror make believing and when it was time to go I'd stuff my pockets. When my mom would clean out my room she'd find all sorts of junk (trash) all over and would throw it away.

In a way that stuff was filling a void. I would find those pins and feel like I found the most valuable treasure there was and when they were thrown out I felt so empty so I'd go find more stuff. I guess when Jesus isn't in your life like he should be or even in your parents’ lives you grow up thinking how they do things and handle themselves is how you should. That is quite natural to assume too. Now as an adult and a role model for my daughters it is hard for me to let go of not only stuff but also those habits that got me where I am today. As hard as it may be it’s so important that I can overcome them and show they or even point them to a better way. While I'm cleaning out the clutter in my home, my body, mind, and spirit are experiencing a good Spring Cleaning. My relationship with God has grown so much just in the past 6 months it’s amazing to me but I know I'm far from where I desire to be. He is always with me but am I always with him? We are human and our nature by default is to run away, I am learning to stand still and wait for God.

The "Rock"

2008-02-22T15:14:00.003-06:00

As you know I am a lia sophia Advisor and currently there are over 100 in Oklahoma. I would absolutely love to expand out into Arkansas. There are only 23 as of Dec. 07. Project AR starts today.

Debbie Rotkvich is a top dawg within my company and has been for the past 16 years. Her income was $3MIL last year alone. If your jaw didn't drop we need to make sure you don't have lockjaw or something (stupid joke, I know). I mean dang, what I could do with $3MIL; I know a lot of people that would help. What I'd be most excited about would be tithing $300,000. Phew! Well that got me pumped up a bit and I really working towards a "Rock" solid March.

Of my 4 shows for Feb. 2 postponed. That may help, not sure yet. I've really felt that moving or expanding into AR could make a difference. We are spreading and someone will do it, it's just a matter of time before they do. This mission is top secret, so I won't divulge the plan but know it’s coming from me when you see it.

New Outlook

2008-01-02T07:58:00.001-06:00

Well today is the second day of the new year and I'm still super excited about whats going to happen this year. I have some pretty big goals so far and its a bit overwhelming. There's the cruise which I mentioned before and I'm adding a weight loss resolution to my list. I have 70 lbs to lose, and safely this can happen no sooner than nine months. Once I get to that goal weight I can make some new goals. This is so much more than a cosmetic change. I truly want to be healthy so my family can be healthy.

I love those slimquick commercials where the husband shrinks and the wife gains weight in the wrong places and loses in the right. Yep that's us except I didn't lose any anywhere. We'll celebrate our 5 year anniversary next month, he's gained 20 lbs (I'll pay someone a million dollars to show me where) and I've gained 70 lbs and it's obvious where. Yesterday I walked away the pounds, and my goal is to work out at least every other day. Once I'm where I want to be I don't really even want to hear anyone say "Christy you look good," I want to look in the mirror and see it and hear myself say it.

I'm glad we all made it one more year, this will be my best year ever! Our 21 day fast started yesterday and we as a family are sticking to no sweets. My girls definitely don't need them, Nick has a hard time with his ticks after eating it and I gain 10 lbs just looking at it. In doing this we are believing for the lost (those not connected in Christ) and the exiled (those who've turned away from him). I have some dear dear family and friends that I'll be praying for during this time. Which will be often since I'm a sweet addict.

I pray everyone has a wonderful 2008! Enjoy the New Year, make it count!

Christmas time...

2007-12-23T00:33:00.000-06:00

is such a wonderful time. It comes and goes faster and faster each year. Remember the reason for the season...I need to remember this as well. Every person that is and will be, Jesus died for them. What a thought, there are people I don't see eye to eye with, and others I love outrageously and Jesus died for all of them the same way he died for me. That is truly amazing and I am so excited about learning more and more about God in the New Year. God bless everyone, stay warm, and travel safely through the Holidays!

Staying at home, my journey.

2007-12-19T10:05:00.002-06:00

My husband and I have been married for 5 years we have 2 girls’ 3yrs old and 18 mos. I was blessed to take my oldest to work with me for her first 4 mo. of life, then I got another job but Nick stayed home with her. Her first year of life our oldest had at least one of us home with her. Our youngest only had me at home for her first 4 mo. and then I went back to work, my husband worked in the morning and I in the evening for the next 9 mos. We both worked full time outside the home for the next 4 mo. and it wasn't worth it. Even though we didn't pay for daycare, we were fortunate enough to have family watch our kids it was stressful and unorganized. Our family had very little structure.

September of this year I was blessed with the opportunity to stay at home full time on the condition I could bring some kind of money into the mix. I do have to say staying at home is so much more work than any job out there that I've ever had. You have so much to do, concentrate on, and manage all at one time. There is no merit raise, no evaluation (except for how you children and marriage turn out), and no pat on the back either. Don't get me wrong; this is the best thing that could happen to our family. On days when I'm not in the word I have a terrible time trying to keep my sanity.

I've come out not on the other side but up out on top to notice I have very little organization. This is so major to survive and I just am now getting to the point where I see how important it is. My children need structure, this is such a vital time in their lives and if they see me loosing it or giving up they will too. I want to teach life long lessons, lessons that are taught to their children and their children's children. In no way am I perfect, I see my err and desire to change every day.